Fear is rampant in our society. It can disguise itself as love, concern, perfectionism, greed, anger… but it’s often really just fear.
It has controlled me for most of my life. If you’ve followed me for a while, you already know that I had a breakdown a couple of years ago, and that literally changed everything for me.
But, being afraid is a powerful motivator. I have overcome so much in a short time. And, the only reason I was able to do it is because of fear.
I have been reading a book called Running Scared by Edward T. Welch. He says what we are afraid of the most is what we need the most.
“If we need comfort, we will fear physical pain. If we need approval from others, we will fear being criticized. If we need love, we will fear rejection. If we need admiration for our attractiveness, we will fear getting fat.” (41)
And, simply understanding that can help you to detach yourself from your fears.
Welch goes on in his book to say that we must fight fear with fear. It sounds crazy, but think about it.
If you are afraid of heights, but your child is stuck on a ledge, all of a sudden your fear of heights takes a backseat to your fear of your child falling.
Back when I let fear rule my life, I was literally afraid of everything. I was afraid of going out, driving on highways, I was worried about what people thought of me, I was afraid of getting sick, doctors, dentists, hospitals, messing up, failing, looking bad, and the list goes on and on…
I stayed “safe,” in hopes to eliminate any risk of anything “bad” happening.
But, what I didn’t realize is that bad isn’t always bad.
Our biggest triumphs, awakenings, and lessons can occur when the things that we were afraid of happening actually happen, or when we do the things that we were once afraid to do.
Back to how my fears motivated me to change… It’s as simple as one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I held everything together for too long and the weight of it all finally crushed me.
For my entire life, I thought something bad was going to come along and crush me, but it turns out it was actually my own need for control that crushed me.
In that moment, my fear of being average, of not impacting people, and of missing out on my calling became greater than all of those other fears.Let your fear of not living become bigger than your fear of dying. Click To Tweet
When it became riskier for me to stay the same than it did for me to take a chance and possibly fail, THAT’S when I changed.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I don’t have any fears anymore. But, I continue to do things in spite of my fears. I push my limits. I step outside of my comfort zone. That’s called growth. And passion. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It sucks sometimes. But, it’s not bad.
It’s actually really, really amazing.
So, whatever you are afraid of, find something bigger to scare you. And, then move forward.
Oh, and check out our Tiny Talks Shop this week to see our biggest fears.
PS – Have you taken the Brave & Bold challenge yet? Your life is waiting.
PPS – Want to check out the book? It’s a great read!