How to Make Your Marriage a Priority After Kids

By Bridgette Petrino | relationships

Feb 24

Two become One

If you want to achieve anything in life, whether it be losing weight, making more money, being less stressed, or whatever, than you need to make your marriage a priority again.

When we get married, we take our vows. We all know how it goes,”for richer for poorer, for sickness and in health, etc…” And, once we take these vows, we say that two become one.

Two humans become one unit. Literally. And, a unit does not function apart. Only together.

So, if you want to achieve anything, you must work on your marriage first.

If you want to be strong in life, you need to be strong in your marriage first. Click To Tweet

I know. I talk so much about taking time for yourself. But, I don’t want to neglect to mention your marriage too.

Oftentimes, we think it’s not a big deal to not go on a date or to not spend a few minutes of time with your hubby.

And, yes, it’s not a big deal if you miss a day or two of not connecting with your spouse. But, when that becomes 100 days, or even months, of not spending one-on-one time with your spouse, it is a big deal.

So, how do you become one with your husband? Here are 3 rules of thumb.

1. Get a babysitter

When is the last time you’ve been on a date? I know. We could use every excuse in the book to not go out on a date. We are busy. It’s expensive. I get it. We pay our babysitter $15/hour. By the time we pay her, pay for dinner/drinks, and maybe take an uber ride, it turns out to be an expensive night.

But, it is an absolute necessity.

Date nights at home are fine from time to time. But, there is something to be said for getting out, getting dressed, and making a single transaction with a babysitter (who isn’t a family member) so that no strings are attached.

And, now let me ask you this: When is the last time you’ve been on an overnight?

My kids are still pretty young, so we don’t take overnights that often. Maybe twice a year. But, even one night out away from your kids for 24 hours can bring so much life back into your marriage.

2. Take time daily to communicate

So, now that you are going on dates regularly (I like to recommend at least twice per month,) I want you to start communicating daily with your spouse to ensure that you are on the same page.

This is not sending him an email with your schedule for the week. Or, talking over the kids during dinnertime.

I mean one-on-one, face-to-face communication with no outside distractions.

This can literally be talking to your husband for 15 minutes a night after the kids are in bed.

Do you want to take more time for yourself and your marriage, but you aren’t sure how to find the time? Download this checklist of 9 ways to find 15 minutes in your day.

I promise it really only takes 15 minutes. Turn off your phone, turn off the TV and catch up for a little bit. And once you’ve chatted for a bit, then veg out with your favorite show.

Trust me. When you become one with your husband, things are going to start to change everywhere in your life.

3. Speak up

If something is bothering you, remember to speak up.

Even if it’s something seemingly little like he doesn’t pick up his dirty clothes off the floor. If that’s something that really bothers you, let him know. Of course, you always want to “pick your battles.” But, holding in the little “pet peeves” can grow into really big wars eventually.

Maybe after talking about what’s bothering you, the two of you will come to an agreement. So, don’t talk to your mom or your girlfriend about it. Talk to him. At the very least he will have heard you. Because, understanding and validation can be so underrated in relationships.

Make your marriage a priority again

So, start incorporating date nights again. And, get an overnight trip on the calendar. Communicate. About the good and bad things that are going on in life.

Oh and check out this video I did for my 30-Day Program members. It’s a little bit of tough love, but I promise if you start making your marriage a priority again, you will see improvements in all aspects of your life.

PS – Have you taken the Brave & Bold challenge yet? Get out of your comfort zone, face your fears, and start living a life that you absolutely LOVE.

 

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About the Author

Bridgette is Founder and CEO of Mommy Needs a Timeout. She empowers moms to reconnect with their identities OUTSIDE of being a mom, without the guilt.

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