Let me take it even further. Do you feel under-appreciated? Or, maybe you feel like you do so much for others and they just don’t reciprocate?
One thing we must not forget is that people are predictable. If the same scenario happens every year on your birthday and you end up frustrated and angry, you can ask yourself if you’ve made your expectations clear. If you have, then you have good reason to be angry. If you haven’t, then I challenge you to be specific with your expectations.
And, let me be the first to admit that I had to take a good deal of time to learn this. Oftentimes I would say I wasn’t expecting anything big, or that I didn’t care about my birthday, but in reality I wanted to be recognized and appreciated. I think we all do. But, we all feel appreciation in different ways. Personally, I love gifts. Receiving gifts is my love language. So, I have made sure that my husband knows this. He could go out of his way to make me a nice dinner and clean the whole house, but it wouldn’t really matter to me. However, if he surprises me by even just bringing home a leftover piece of cake from his office I feel so appreciated. Now that he understands this, he makes an effort to surprise me with little gifts from time to time.
This type of simple miscommunication can completely ruin a relationship. Remember, suppressed anger doesn’t fade away; it grows. So, my challenge for you this week is to speak up. It is not selfish or weak to tell someone that you would like a present, breakfast in bed or even a party in order to feel appreciated sometimes. But, you might have to ask for it. Have you ever done that?
If you are a mom, I am sure you work hard. You deserve to be in the spotlight. In the comments, tell me what it is that makes you feel appreciated. Is it gifts, quality time, acts of service? If you aren’t sure, I highly recommend the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. And, let me know if you complete the challenge. Have a great week!
PS – Check out my chat with Nancy Hornback on the topic of disappointment!