First off, I believe the ability to change a relationship has to come from within. You can’t give what you don’t have. So, when you love yourself you will find it much easier to love others. Fixing the relationship usually doesn’t have to do with the other person. The other person probably won’t change, but the relationship can change if you change your reaction.
I tend to be a very practical person. I want frank answers. Currently, I am reading The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer and he gives very specific advice on how to handle difficult people. He recommends letting go of your need to be superior. He says “true growth is about becoming a better you not better than someone else.”
If you are in a rocky relationship, whether it be spouse, friend, in-law, coworker, here is my tip to completely change the relationship. Add some love into it. Stop making the relationship about who is better, who is right or what someone did. Focus on being a better you. Do as Wayne Dyer suggests. When you are in the middle of an argument, ask yourself “Do I want to be right or be happy?”
You will find that reacting to anger with love will almost always improve the situation. Reacting with anger, will never improve the situation.
I challenge you to write down 3 things that you are grateful for about the other person daily. Don’t go telling them about it. Just write it down. You can even do a meditation. Feel yourself giving love to yourself, then to someone who you find easy to give love and compassion to, and then finally feel yourself giving love to the difficult person in your life. Go even further; compliment that person next time you see him or her. Or write a genuinely nice comment on a Facebook status. Watch how guards are broken down by simple acts of kindness.
I guarantee that if you replace love with anger you will see a change in the relationship. So, what do you think? Do you agree? Let me know how you deal with difficult relationships in the comments.