Question: Do you have that one girlfriend that you can trust with everything? She knows when something is wrong and you can always count on her for the best advice?
We can’t underestimate the importance of having a friend that will tell you the truth – in love and kindness, of course. This is someone who you can be honest and real with and show your flaws and mistakes without feeling judged.
Personally, I’ve built up a pretty big wall around me. My level of trust was very low for a long time. Maybe even non-existent. I’ve mentioned before that I have many acquaintances and few friends. Meaning, I have very few people who really know me. And, after I became a mom the few friendships that I had were put on the back burner while I was in survival mode taking care of my twins.
What have I learned?
Remember that you are the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with. I built a wall around me and there was no gate for anyone to come in, nor for me to go out. I’ve realized that trying to be everything to everyone and never letting anyone in has weighed heavily on me – to the point of cracking. When I think back to the “red flags” that signaled trust was missing in my life here is what I think of: people pleaser, perfectionist, micro manager. Does this sound familiar to you? These are all signs of a lack of trust. So, I have slowly started building a gate. Boundaries are absolutely necessary (don’t trust everyone), but so are relationships. Find the right people to trust. When you do, you will find that your stress level goes down because you know you are not in this alone.
So, tell me this: Do you have that one person? Are you that one person to someone?
If not, maybe it’s time to start building a gate.